A Story of Our Parents and Grandparents

Memories of a life in the old days

Chapter 1: Life in Reyma – The days of our grandparents

In those days, life was very different from what we know today. Life was simple, but it came with many responsibilities, hard work and sacrifices.

Jou Angay , Ap Sanjaa's dad was one of the important figures in the family. He lived to the age of 85 and spent the entire winter at the family home in Reyma, Paro. Ap Sanjaa's family back in Haa also kept a large number of yaks, approximately 40 to 50, which were an important part of their livelihood.

There was a striking resemblance between Jou Angay and Achu Ugyen. It was as though the family features had passed down through generations.

Tsam Sangay, Jou Angay’s brother, also had a strong resemblance to Achu Ugyen. He had a fair complexion, a reddish face like a Brokpa, and a height similar to mine. His slim build was much like Apa Sanjaa’s.

Tsam Sangay lived until the age of 73.

Chapter 2: A son’s responsibility and devotion

Apa Sanjaa’s life was shaped by responsibility from a very young age.

At just six years old, while living at Bumdra, Apa began serving Tsam Sangay. He stayed with him, attended to his needs and even learnt to read and write Dzongkha, starting with the Ka Kha Ga Nga alphabets.

As he grew older, his responsibilities towards his parents continued.

Apa looked after his father, Jou Angay, with great dedication. He washed his father’s clothes, prepared his bed and made sure he had a bath. These were not occasional acts of kindness but part of his everyday responsibility as a son.

Every one or two months, Apa would travel to Haa on his horse to carry provisions and rations for his parents. Travelling in those days was not easy. There were no vehicles or modern roads to make the journey simple. It required time, effort and determination.

But Apa continued to do what was necessary for his family.

It tells us something important about the values of those days: looking after one’s parents was not simply a duty; it was an expression of love and respect.

Chapter 3: The songs of Jou Angay

Jou Angay had a particular love for bangchaa (wine). Whenever he had his bangchang, he would often begin his lozay.

One of his familiar verses was to Ama Thinley:

“Tsedhey lay chima zhing tha ring…”

He would sing:

Tsedhey lay chima zhing tha ring 

Pay dhi ley choje dhu tsu tsa 

Dhu tsu tsa sa ma lhoee 

Tsi nee lay chima zhing thaa ring 

Zhing tha ring saa ma lhue

The meaning, as remembered in the family, carried a gentle message: don’t get angry, take things slowly and remain patient.

After his lozay, he would sing his mani.

These little moments must have been familiar sights in the household. Even when Ama Thinley occasionally became fed up with Jou Angay, his love for bangchaa and his habit of singing his lozay and mani remained part of his personality.

Such small details are precious. They bring an old person’s character back to life in a way that dates and historical facts alone never could.

Chapter 4: Aum Lhadey’s childhood

Aum Lhadey’s childhood was also very different from the childhood children experience today.

At the age of seven, she went to live in Chichoong Tse with Jojo Goto Karp and Jojo Kongjurp.

It was during this early period of her life that she first came to know Apa Sanjaa.

She met him at Bumdra when she was around seven years old, while Apa Sanjaa was approximately eleven.

One of her early memories was seeing Apa being beaten by Tsam Sangay at Bumdra because he was quite naughty. Apa apparently had a habit of writing everywhere, much like Achu Ugyen.

These little childhood stories give us a glimpse of what Apa was like as a young boy.

When Aum Lhadey first saw Apa, he was wearing an old, worn-out pangste gho. It was a simple sight, but one that remained in her memory.

Perhaps nobody realized at the time that these childhood encounters would eventually become part of a much bigger family story.

Chapter 5: How Apa Sanjaa came to Reyma

Before settling in Reyma, Apa Sanjaa used to stopover at Ap Panday’s house.

It was Ama Thinley who eventually told him to come and take hospitality in their home.

And so, Apa came to Reyma.

This was an important turning point in his life. It was here that his connection with the family grew, and eventually his relationship with Aum Lhadey developed into marriage.

Apa Sanjaa and Aum Lhadey married when Apa was approximately 25 years old and Aum Lhadey was around 21.

At the age of 21, Aum Lhadey gave birth to their first child, Achu Kama.

And so, a new generation began.

The life that had once revolved around grandparents, yaks, mountain journeys, bangchaa, lozay and mani was now becoming the life of a young family.